A friend of mine saw this shirt, and commented that it needed a fiction based on it. I wanted a short diversion, so I obliged. Enjoy. ;P
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It has been three
years since the Princess vanished for the last time. Nobody thought it could
actually happen. For countless years Bowser had come to kidnap the Princess,
and the Brothers would rescue her. It was a strange routine, but it was life in
the Mushroom Kingdom. Why argue against what worked. Besides, she’d long ago
ceased to be anything more than a figurehead. It’s not like she ever
participated in any of the Castle Courts… Tennis and Basketball aside.
At first, the toad
were afraid. What would become of them? Sure, she was only an icon, but her
presence had kept the Koopa King from launching an actual attack against them. With the Princess to distract him, the
toad could more or less go about their lives as they wished. Bowser very rarely
came beyond the Mid-Lands, and the people there were used to the constant
struggle for possession of their lands. But now…
Eventually the fear
gave way to apprehension, which then became unease, before finally settling
into a nice light discomfort. At least, for a little while. It turned out that
the Princess wasn’t the only one to disappear. Reports came in from the
Mid-Lands that King Koopa hadn’t been seen in quite some time. This wouldn’t
have been too remarkable on its own, as he occasionally launched off to set up
some elaborate scheme that would distract him and the Princess for a blissful
few months. But with the princess already gone, no word from the Brothers, and
rumor coming out of the Badlands saying things were quiet over there as well…
Unease began to creep back in.
And then the horrors
began. Koopa’s Kids were found strangled by piranha plants. The whole lot of
them, as if someone had just shown up and began stringing them up over the
walls of Bowser’s Keep like some sort of sick decoration. Shortly after that
Kammy and Kamek bobbed up from the bottom of the Great Lakes in Mid-Land.
Nobody had seen them for some time, but the word was… they were going on about
Peach coming back for them when they disappeared.
King Koopa
eventually turned up. He and Mario were found lying together in his chambers
looking as if they’d just fallen asleep there. No marks on either one of them,
but their faces were frozen in mirror masks of terror. It was then that the
Badlands began clearing out. A mass exodus, and all the while people carrying
on about the lady of the pipes, or something like that. The stories were unclear.
All anyone knew for sure was, there was something dark in the Badlands, and
nobody knew what to do about it.
Then just as things
seemed to be at their worst, Luigi turned up, alive. The story he brought was
unbelievable. Princess Peach had been
hidden in Pipe Land this time…. Only the Mario Brothers caught up with Bowser
in the Badlands, and thoroughly trounced him there. After that they went to the
Pipe Lands hoping to find the Princess… but eventually had to return to
Bowser’s Keep to drag him out there to help them. Nobody could find her… and
then both the Koopa King and Mario went missing. One morning Luigi woke up and
they just weren’t there.
He’d heard the
stories about the Koopa Kids, and of Kammy and Kamek, but he didn’t know what
was happening. When he learned that his brother and Bowser had turned up he was
distraught, but set out to figure out what was causing all this. That was the
last anyone heard from him.
Time passed without any further horrors. Life began settling down, and
people had even begun to move back to the Badlands. The going story was that
Luigi had succeeded in stopping whatever it was that was happening, but had
either been killed in the process, or had left to mourn in peace. Nobody knew
what to make of the crazy ‘Lady of the Pipes’ story, but in the end, it didn’t
really matter.
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The Chancellor was
tired. It had been another long day in the courts, and again the people were talking about choosing another ruler… as if
that would help anything. No matter how they tried to explain the minimal
impact the Princess’s disappearance actually had on the political system, Every little hiccup was blamed on her
departure.
Coming into his
chambers, he was surprised to find a rather gaunt looking toad standing in the
center of his room staring down at the floor. In his hand he held a dirty
looking letter closed in the pink stationary that Peach had been fond of. Who would bring my mail here? he
wondered before asking, “What is the meaning of this?”
Looking up with a
hallow expression that caused the Chancellor to take a step back, the toad
intoned, “Here is a letter… from the Princess,” as he raised the envelope
towards him.
Uncomfortable as the
young toad made him, the Chancellor stepped forward to take the letter, “Ummm…
thank you for this. You can leave now,” he wasn’t sure what it was, but the
starved looking toad gave him the chills.
Waiting until the
interloper had walked down the hall, he locked his door and looked at the
envelope. It hadn’t been sealed, so even if
it somehow had in fact been written
by the Princess, which he doubted, there was no telling whether or not it had
been tampered with. He almost didn’t open it, but he’d never been accused of a
lack of curiosity, so he flipped the letter open and pulled the grimy sheet
out.
Greetings,
If you see any ghosts, be careful. They will give chase using Goomba’s
shoe. The White Block contains magic powers. Be careful, the thief escaped. The
creatures trapped in the ice will come to life. Please come to the castle, I baked
a cake for you. I am well, hidden in the darkness at the end of the world.
Princess
Toadstool
Standing there in
horror, he let the letter fall from his hand. The Archives… Nobody had access to those… the boy! He ran into the
hall, and down the corridor he’d seen him take. At the other end of the hall,
he stumbled into one of the guard.
“Where did he go?!” he shouted without preamble.
“Who?”
“The boy! He just came this way, where is he now?” he
snapped back.
“Sir, there hasn’t been anyone besides you and the watch in
these halls for hours. Is everything okay?”
“I…” he didn’t know what to say, somehow the kid had snuck
by, “I’m fine. Just keep your eyes open, and let me know if someone turns up
who shouldn’t be here.”
“But of course sir,” the guard saluted, wearing a confused
expression.
Turning, he walked
back to his room and stopped in the doorway. Sitting there in the center of his
room was a warp pipe. He’d heard they could be summoned, that apparently the
Koopa had the secret… but no toad had ever managed it. If this was here….
Seven Moons… a voice he almost recognized came floating out from
the pipe. Low, and whispered, with an edge that carried the promise of death as
plainly as if it had spoken the threat aloud. Too scared to move, he could no
more than watch as the pipe slowly lowered itself into the floor leaving no
trace that it had ever been there. The words hung, if not in the air, then
heavily on his psyche. This… this cannot
be…
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The chancellor was
found one morning hanging out the window of the keep’s highest tower. Days
before his death he’d been heard mumbling apologies to the Princess, and going
on about a secret archive that should have never been opened. The only thing
out of place in his belongings was a strange grubby looking letter in the
Princess’s stationary. In respect of his privacy, the letter was stored away
with the rest of his personal artifacts to be delivered to his next of kin.